Adik ka na sa DOTA kung makakita ka ng magandang babae at ito mga banat mo sa kanya...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
***
radiance kaba?kasi u make me shine.
***
c darkterror kaba?kasi tumitigil ang mundo ko pag kasama kita.
***
c tiny kaba?kasi lumalaki ang pagmamahal ko sau.
***
c mirana kaba?kasi napana mo puso ko.
***
c kardel kaba?kasi kahit ang layo mo tinamaan parin ako.
***
para kang c balanar,lumalakas tuwing gabi.
***
para kang c doom?kc ur so HOT,umaapoy.
***
well kaba?kc kaw nagbibigay ng buhay ko.
***
Ako ang tower mo, basta lagi mong tandaan dito kalang sa tabi ko,proprotektahan kita.
***
Si Medusa ka ba? nalambat mo kasi ang puso ko eh!
***
Si Zeus ka ba? tinatamaan kasi ako sayo kahit saan ako magpunta eh.
***
c Zeus k b? Tamaan man ako ng kidlat, ikaw lng ang mahal ko.
***
c Rikimaru k b? Di mo man ako nakikita, nasa tabi mo lang ako.
***
c Vengeful k b? kasi handa akong i-SWAP ang buhay ko maalis lang ang kalungkutan mo
***
c Enchantress k b? Nasasaktan ako kapag lumalayo ka…
***
c Doom k b? pag-anjan ka, mainit paligid ko..
***
c Silencer k b? kpg anjan ka, natatahimik ako..
***
c Beastmaster k b? maalaga ka kc..
***
c slardar k b? kc ms lumalakas tama ko sau..
***
c darkterror k b? humihinto ang oras pag kasama kita
***
c razor k b? nakukuryente kc puso q sau..
***
c nerubian weaver k b? naghahabol aq lagi sau..
***
c omniknight k b? ikaw ang aking Guardian Angel..
***
bka naman CREEP k? lagi kasi kitang kasama..
***
c phantom lancer b? cnong pipiliin ko sa inyo?
***
c Terrorblade b? handa akong magbago para sayo.
***
c techies b? suicide na ako kapag ala ka..
***
c leoric b? binubuhay mo ulit ako..
***
c crystal maiden b? kinikilig aq pag ksma k..
***
c pudge b? nahuli mo kc puso q..
***
c mirana b? dahil sau, napapatalon ako sa saya..
***
Frozen Throne o World Tree k b?? kapag wala ka na, wala ng dahilan para lumaban pa..
***
“DOTA ka ba, adik na adik talaga ako sayo eh”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Adik ka na sa DOTA kung ito ang mga hataw mo sa Rap Battle...
Yo mama so fat when Pudge tried to hook her, Pudge got dragged instead.
Yo mama so fat she pushed top, mid and bottom lane at the same time.
Yo mama so fat her inventory is always full.
Yo mama so fat all the units on the map can't even move.
Yo mama so fat her armour type is Flabbed.
Yo mama so fat when she joins a game everyone lags and delays.
Yo mama so fat when she camped at the enemy fountain, everytime an enemy hero revives they just die.
Yo mama so fat when Magina tried to blink past her, he gets stuck inside her.
Yo mama so stupid she denied the throne.
Yo mama so fat she once accidently stepped on Roshan.
Yo mama so fat when she got haste her flabs went everywhere and killed everything.
Yo mama so fat she complained to IceFrog to make Assault Cuirass much bigger since she couldn't fit in it.
Yo mama so fat even Vengeful Spirit can't swap her.
Yo mama so fat she complained to IceFrog that Boots of Speed didn't give her any extra movespeed.
Yo mama so stupid she actually did press ALT+Q Q.
Yo mama so stupid she stayed in the river all game just to refill her empty bottle over and over.
Yo mama so ugly when the other team bought a gem to see her real appearance they said she looked like the hunchback of notre dame.
Yo mama so fat that Tiny can't toss her.
Yo mama so stupid when Nortrom killed her, he became mentally retarded!
Yo mama so fat she can't fit into Clockwork's power cog!
Yo mama's so fat when Phantom Lancer used Spirit Lance on her it just bounced right back and killed him.
Yo mama's so poor that when she got 2 gold on -em she said "I'M RICH!"
Yo mama is so stupid when Harbinger clicks his ulti she dies automatically.
Yo mama so fat that when she walks she creates a global stun for 5 seconds.
Yo mama so fat that when she jumps she creates Epicenter.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Banat about Chuck Norris
* Chuck Norris can walk on Fissure
* Chuck Norris has a 100 % chance for multicast. With Aghanims its 200 %.
* Chuck Norris is the reason why Leshracs Soul is so Tourmented.
* Chuck Norris can use Helm of the dominator on Enemy Heros
* Chuck Norris doesn't visit the Secret Shop. The Secret Shop comes to him.
* Chuck Norris comes with a Dagon 50 every game.
* Chuck Norris can catch Tinkers Missiles and throw them back.
* Chuck Norris gives Atropos Nightmares.
* Chuck Norris' power treads stack with boots of travel.
* Chuck Norris made Tiny tiny.
* 6 divine rapiers gives you the Chuck Norris Orb.
* Buriza is the name of Chuck Norris' hamster.
* Chuck Norris gangs alone.
* A public player who once called Chuck Norris a n00b was found dead the next morning, his screen had smashed his face in.
* Chuck Norris is immune to your banlist.
* Chuck Norris has 7 slots.
* Chuck Norris doesn't need WTF mode.
* Chuck Norris' refresher orbs refresh themselves.
* If you leave Chuck Norris' game, you won't play DotA... ever again.
* Chuck Norris can win DotA alone, without picking a hero
* Chuck Norris once threw his sacred relic away. It's damage bonus was not enough.
* Chuck Norris is the only one permitted to use godmode, as there is no known command to make him vulnerable!
* Ultimate orb turns blue when in chuck norris' hands.
* Chuck Norris can hit tree/throne without killig towers.
* Chuck Norris gets gold from each dying creep, even without last-hitting them.
Chuck Norris' bottle is always full.
* If cast on Chuck Norris, rhasta's ulti-wards attack rhasta for being blasphemic.
* Chuck Norris' inhuman powers drop on death, giving the player who picks 'em up a permanent aegis aura. Too bad he never dies... ever.
* Someone maphacked on Chuck Norris. His body was never found.
*Chuck Norris hates Rikmaru. If he manages to get to lvl 6 before Chuck Norris hunts him down, he has a slight chance to escape from him. Too bad Chuck Norris has truesight.
* Chuck Norris pulls Pugde next to him if he gets hooked.
* Every time you get double damage Chuck Norris gets triple armor.
* Every Hit Chuck Norris does is a lasthit.
* After GODLIKE only comes CHUCKLIKE with an amount of 100 kills in a row.
--------------------------------------------------------
he he he eto pa ang mga bira ng mga utak dota.
***
Limang bayani galing sa mga Sentinel, sina Boush, Lina Inverse, Rylai Crestfall, Aggron Stonebreaker at Tiny ay namatay at ipinadala sa impiyerno. Bago sila nakarating sa impiyerno ay nakasalubong nila si Lucifer (Doom Bringer) at nagbinigay siya sa kanila ng kundisyon para makalaya. "Kung makikinig kayo sa aking 100 jokes at meron kahit isa na hindi natawa ay pakakawalan ko lahat kayo." Sabi ni Lucifer. Silang lahat ay nakipagkasundo at sinimulan ni Lucifer na sabihin sa kanila ang mga pinaka-nakakatawang jokes.
Sa katapusan ng ang 1st joke, tumawa si Boush at siya ay na-out. Sa 37th joke, Di mapigilan ni Lina ang tawa nya at siya ay out. Pagka 65th joke , si Rylai ay sumambulat sa pagtawa at siya ay out. Sa 81st na joke, umayaw na si Aggron at siya ay na-out, At naiwan si Tiny na nag-iisa. Sa pang 99th joke, biglang tumawa si Tiny. Sa labas, sumigaw si Rylai sa kanya. "Bakit ka tumawa sa pang 99th joke! Kailangan mo na lang magtiis ng 1 pang joke at libre na tayong lahat!". Sumagot si Tiny "Sorry ha, ngayon ko lamang sa wakas naintindihan ang 1st joke."
***
Faceless desperately needed some sex...so he went to Drow's place
Faceless: Hey babe...will u have sex with me?
Drow: **** off...u dont even have a face...u would i have sex with u?
Faceless embarrased went to Luna's place
Faceless: Luna please dont say no...but can u have sex with me?
Luna: Piss off...even my buffalo wont have sex with u
Feeling lonely...faceless decided to gave it a last shot...he went to Lina's place...and found her naked there lying on her bed...
Taking no chances...Faceless timewalked...chronoed her....****ed her...and as soon as he is finished...timewalk backed to a safe place...
Lina: WAT THE **** JUST HAPPENED HERE?
Riki: I dunno but my ass really hurt :O
***
May napanuod akung nagdodota
Enchantress - eow phfoe!
Leoric - tara na mga jejebuster! Kill Enchantress!
(sumugod si Leoric ng mag-isa tapos pinatay sya ni Enchantress)
Leoric - **** ako lang jejebuster dito
***
Bradwarden and Pit lord had a child named Brad pit.
Eat bigger trees, they heal more.
Why only get 1 boot? If 1 is good, 2 is better? Nerubian Assassin has 6 legs - he needs 6 boots.
Magina has a sister called Vagina.
If you are windwalking and get an invisibility rune. You disappear from Existence.
Doombringer can run faster because it's painful to walk slowly on his own fire.
If you're Scourge all you have to do to win is to buy tangoes and eat the Tree of Life.
Easy way to win the game: Pick tiny, get bkb at level 16 and approach Roshan with avatar. Tell him that you're his son.
Use BKB when about to suicide with techies you will not be killed.
If your hero is repeatedly exposed to fire and cold spells for a certainperiod of time, it will get a status effect called “FLU”.
The ultimate spell against women, Silencer's Global Silence.
Nortrom doesn't get affected by silence - remember - he always has the Last Word.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was bringing me an item.
Whats Phantom Assasains favorite phrase? Its OVER NINE THOUSAND!!
Why is VS such a bad Gank mate? Because if it goes wrong its your #$% in there instead of hers.
What did Doom sing when he used his ultimate on Treant? The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!
"I was having a conversation with Juggernaut the other day, and I asked him what kind of rims he has for his car. He simply said "Spinners."
Why did the nerd wear one shoe in a race? Because Boots of speed don't stack.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Eto pa mga Pics